On Responding to Rudeness with Grace: A Theological Reflection (17th March, 2016)

Epigraph
"Repel evil with what is better; then the one who was your enemy will be as close as an intimate friend."
— Qur’an 41:34

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
— Luke 23:34

On Responding to Rudeness with Grace: A Theological Reflection

From a spiritual and ethical standpoint, I find it incompatible with my inner self to retaliate against rudeness or aggression with the same behavior. To do so would, in my view, diminish the dignity of the soul and compromise its moral integrity.

This conviction finds resonance in the profound teachings of the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus (peace be upon him), speaking as a messenger of God, redefines justice not as retribution but as moral transcendence:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them on the other cheek.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven...

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
(Matthew 5:38-48)

The Qur'an, likewise, upholds justice but calls believers to a higher standard of forgiveness and moral grace:

“The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto. But if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah. Indeed, He does not like the wrongdoers.”
(Qur'an 42:40)

“Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not love for Allah to forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.”
(Qur'an 24:22)

These verses affirm the right to seek justice but encourage a transcendent moral choice: to forgive, not as a sign of weakness, but as a reflection of divine attributes such as mercy, grace, and patience. Forgiveness in the face of offense mirrors the divine example, and in choosing to pardon others, we open ourselves to God's forgiveness.

This ethical paradigm urges believers to act justly and rise above resentment. It invites us to cultivate the same mercy that we hope to receive from our Creator.

It is in striving for this ideal that I hope to be counted among those who are, in the words of the Gospel, the "children of your Father in heaven," and among those whom the Qur’an describes as “those who suppress anger and pardon people — and God loves the doers of good” (Qur'an 3:134).

—Aamir Yazdani